One of the dumbest things I usually do is to post my feelings and even my ordeals in my Facebook Status. I have always become so stupid and post statuses that tackle my sentiments regarding my day to day experiences in life. Statuses that hundreds of people might see, statuses that they may not understand and statuses that they do not care about most of the time. Frequently, I would do such in order for me to feel relieved in times of stress and despair. The fact that my friends would be able to put suggestive remarks, helpful comments and excellent advice, I know it's a way that will surely inspire me more to face all my trials as I journey through life .
I am definitely sure that most of us have experienced dealing with people who have crab mentality attitude. We all go through these infamous gossiping, backstabbing, slandering, character assassination, and other situations that make us depressed and stressed in some ways. Different people and different circumstances upset us. Some people pull us down when we are trying to pursue our goals in life. We are often victimized by crabs.
I have experienced a number of situations like this. I had one painful experience during the time when we brought our youngest son for liver transplant operation in Taiwan. My husband and I were put down, ridiculed, humiliated until our spirit was torn into pieces leaving us so dejected and broken for almost a week. This was done by a fellow Pinoy in a foreign land. But after a few days of thinking, I decided not to dwell much on the experience and just opted to move forward. We have triumphed the battle over my son's liver disease and the negative and damaging words thrown on us never restrained my hopes and my opportunities to pursue more of my goals.
I am talking about a strange and negative mentality called crab mentality. Crab mentality is a metaphor that refers to a kind of egoistic behavior that means "If I can't have it, neither can you." This metaphoric term is being widely tagged among Filipino character traits but as a negative attribute. This kind of behavior refers to the action of people who pull others down, belittling them instead of helping them pursue their dreams. This behavior is often associated with envy, jealousy, and selfishness. Crabs are found in all levels of life. Some of our friends and even colleagues are having "crabby" thoughts and agenda for us sometimes. They refuse to support our plans into pushing with our endeavors. These crabs are our biggest challenge in life. They frequently talk negative about us, insult us, and even spread lies to the people that we know. Their mental mindset is truly different. This negative trait stops groups, organizations, corporations, the government and its people from attaining their purpose and achieving success. And this stigma is still present up to this time in our society. This mentality is a dangerous lethal attitude that can destroy anyone's hopes. These weak-minded people who have this mindset often believe that people who have dreams are not supposed to succeed, are not to be loved but have to be hated more.
In my point of view, crab mentality is somewhat a product of insecurities, incapacities, and false competitiveness. The individuals who are insecure and incapacitated in doing what they want to do, and may not be as competitive like others feel worried and fearful. Thus in order for them to cover-up their weaknesses and be on top easily, they practice this negative attitude towards people who thrive more to attain their goals. Those who toil suffer and are left behind. The problem then lies on dealing with these people who pull us into a place where a lot of sadness, stress, and depression dwell most. How are we going to manage being with persons having crab mentality in the place where we live, where we study or even where we work?
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Dealing with them is kind of difficult. Here are some suggestions that may help you handle the situation properly.
1. Know your circles well.
Stay close to people whom you trust the most.Persons with crab mentality will always try to know your plans and your dreams. They will find ways to make your plans shattered into pieces. Tell your plans only to real friends.They will definitely encourage you and inspire you to realize your dreams.
2. Let your negative feelings out.
Ranting is never a crime. You may share your ill feelings about the situation to someone you trust the most. Your real friends will surely understand you and will help you discuss the matter seriously to lessen your burden. Do not allow anxiety to ruin your dreams and disposition.
2. Avoid the mentality yourself.
Do not forget that people sometimes get envious and jealous to others. Keep away from having this mindset yourself. Be selfless and inspire others as well. Support your friends' dreams and help them reach their goals. Do not be involved in gossiping. Being part of this intensifies the fire of misunderstanding and conflict.
3. Treat people with crab mindset nicely.
This is one tough and awkward way to deal with those people. But being nice to them may control their chances of pulling you down. Most of them do not have true friends, you may help change their negative attitude into positive ones. In other words try to love the crabs.
4. Never ever complain.
Always stay focused on your job and purpose. Do not complain about the assignments and tasks given to you. Complaining may invite and incite disagreement. Encourage yourself and co-workers to do both your jobs well instead. In this way, crab mentality may be avoided.
5. Watch out for saboteurs.(clever crabs)
Oftentimes your efforts in dealing with negative people are not working.They seem really sure to sabotage your plans and targets. In some cases,their deliberate actions affect your performance immensely. The only way now to deal with it is to get away with them. Confrontation may not always get positive results but may aggravate the situation somehow. Cut ties with them if necessary. Then create a new circle of friends that will bring the best in you.
In some cases that you are still having difficulty handling people with this kind of mentality. These scriptures will definitely aid you more.
Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers, whatever is true, what ever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of your praise, think about these things.
Finally brothers, whatever is true, what ever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of your praise, think about these things.
Proverbs 12:18
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 15:1
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Luke 6:27
But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.
CAN YOU SUGGEST MORE WAYS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE CRAB MENTALITY? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD THEM IN MY COMMENT BOX. TAKE CARE FRIENDS.
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